Welcome to the Dance of Life

I used to think life is what I make of it, then I realised I am what life makes of me.

Now I understand it’s an interesting dance of the two.

Listen to a personal message from brian

Counselling Psychologist

Who am I?

The written word has been so powerful in guiding us through the ages, and before that it was the spoken word. When I look back at my own life, there have been a handful of books that have helped me navigate the various stages of my life. The first book, growing up in a Christian context, was the children’s and adult’s Bible, full of exciting stories, mythical characters and of course, an all-seeing and all-knowing God. Then much later at 27, it was a The Road Less Travelled, by M Scott Peck which reminded me that we are never alone in our human condition and personal struggles, that we have so much in common. At 40, I was given a copy of Wild at Heart, by John Eldredge whose perspective on the spiritual life invited me to be brave and adventurous, and got me into a world of trouble.

Now at 58, in the last three months whilst on a much needed sabbatical, no less than six books have helped me to reorientate myself, and prepare for the final third of my life (should I be so fortunate); The Artist’s Way, by Judith Cameron (still to be finished) has assisted me in reawakening my creativity; The Way of Integrity, by Martha Beck has challenged me to thoroughly question my own belief systems which may well have been a powerful form of cultural indoctrination; Power and Sex – a book about women, by Scilla Elworthy has reminded me that women are equally powerful to men, and that we all need to find a better balance for the masculine and feminine energies that lie within each of us; Fully Human, by Stephen Biddulph has provided me with a workable framework for understanding and assisting myself and others to be human; The subtle art of not giving a fuck, by Mark Manson has reinforced the value and necessity of the word fuck to get to the heart of the matter; and finally, Loving What Is, by Byron Katie teaches ‘The Work’, a method of inquiry and turnaround which liberates us from the lies we believe about ourselves and others.

So, who am I? Just like you, I am a human being – a natural, complex (and yet simple in many ways), awesome creature, trying to make the most of life. In the process, just like you, I have obviously been conceived, born, raised, socialised, conditioned, educated, molded, and ultimately limited by the prevailing norms and values of my culture. I have, just like you, fulfilled numerous roles in relation to others, including son, brother, cousin, nephew, friend, learner, team-mate, boyfriend, work-colleague, lover, partner, spouse, parent, religious-adherent and psychologist, to name a few. But none of these roles can define who I am, just like you. And now at 58, I realise that I am going to end up in a box one day, just like you, so I don’t want to live in one any longer. In William Shakespeare’s immortal words from Hamlet, “To be, or not to be” – this is the question. And just like you, I really want to be and so discover more of my unlimited potential, so that I can help others do the same in the dance of life.

 

Brian Blem Profile Image

How is your dance of life?

Are you struggling, suffering, sinking or simply searching for more?

One thing I know is that we all need someone and something in the dance of life.

I would be privileged to support you in any way I can, first as a fellow human being, and as a counselling psychologist.

Brian Blem

areas of interest

Marriage
  • Relationships
  • Marriages
  • Intimacy
  • Conflict resolution and Mediation
Men's Work
  • Men’s Work
  • Adolescent Boys
  • Male Initiation
Struggling with Addictions
  • Grief and Trauma
  • Stress and Addiction
  • Career Counselling and Coaching

My approach

I work with people’s stories, helping my clients see the significance of events in their lives and how they impact. I call it “The hero’s journey” where clients take primary responsibility for healing their wounded hearts. I draw upon various psychological theories – psychodynamic, behavioural, eco-systemic and existentialism, as well as therapeutic interventions – Imago Relationship Therapy, Dialectic Behavioural Therapy, Breathwork and Brain Working Recursive Therapy, to assist clients in their process. At the end of the day, the most important condition for growth and healing is that clients feel safe to explore what’s really going on in their dance of life.

I’d Love to Help you

more information on my experience

Relationships and Marriage

We all need to interact with other people and seek close relationships where we can find love, trust, understanding and deep personal fulfilment. It can be tough going though and all relationships face challenges and uphill struggles. Therapy can help individuals and couples work through obstacles, building bridges to move closer to each other rather than building walls to keep each other out.

I support single people, dating couples, married and divorced couples and anyone struggling to make their relationship work and grow. We journey towards a better balance, being honest, instilling hope, growing trust and identifying values, fears and communication gaps. I also work with clients to help them step into their respective roles within relationships to be accountable, responsible, reliable and trustworthy.

Whether you’re desperate and hurting or just wanting way more from your relationship than you’re currently getting, counselling can help you.

Men's Work

If you’re a man longing to fulfil your deepest dreams but battling to be a strong, powerful and secure man, men’s work can help transform your life from one of doubts and questioning to one of adventure and purpose. Embark on the journey of self-discovery, healing and empowerment, overcome your current limitations and carve out a greater manhood.

Through therapy, I help men examine their lives with honesty and integrity in order to make some profound life-giving decisions. Men’s work offers men and boys an opportunity to transition into great and mighty leaders. When men step up to the plate and take charge of their lives, they can have a profoundly positive influence on their relationships, their families, their communities and our nation.

I encourage men to go on a hero’s journey, to discover a warrior-spirit and to fulfil their role and life’s purpose with strength and vitality.

Mental Illness

The pressures of modern life, the fast-pace of the rat race and the impact that other people can have on us can often lead to common challenges like anxiety, burn-out, depression, failure, grief, stress and multiple addictions. When these personal problems manifest for a prolonged period of time, they can begin to have physical and psychological effects, leading to mental and physical illness, personal strife and potential loss.

Emotional problems are often not recognised as being serious, but conditions like depression and phobias are mental illnesses that require professional support. Addictions to alcohol, drugs, gambling, sex and pornography are other problems that need professional support in order to overcome them.

I help people to understand what incidents have triggered their condition, how they’ve got to where they’re at and then we work at finding healing and recovery in order to move forward.

Stress Management

Stress affects everyone at various stages of life. Some stress can be positive if it motivates us to get things done and take action. Persistent and excessive stress, however, is negative, unpleasant and bad for your physical and emotional well-being. I assist clients to develop effective stress management skills to help them cope with tensions, anxiety and stress.

Through therapy, clients identify their key stressors and develop an understanding of the ways in which they respond to difficult situations. We also explore ways of minimising stress and different responses, as well as looking at how a healthier and more balanced lifestyle can make one less susceptible to the negative impact of stress.

I assist people struggling to find a good work/life balance and those suffering from various signs of stress, including headaches, fatigue, panic attacks, breathing problems, sleep difficulties, tension, aches and pains, high blood pressure, anxiety, depression, a compromised immune system and gastrointestinal problems.

TRAUMA COUNSELLING

South African society is plagued with terrible incidents like rape, abuse, domestic violence, armed robberies, assault, hijackings, murders, suicides, road rage and motor accidents. Containing a crisis situation and then overcoming emotional distress is part of trauma counselling’s objectives.

Counselling is an important part of the healing journey after tragedy has struck someone down. I help people to process what’s happened to them and to come to terms with their response and fears.

I can assist in emergencies and counsel individuals, couples, families or groups of people.

Career Counselling

Because we spend such a great deal of our time at work, it’s important to enjoy what we do. If you’re stuck in a job you hate, in an industry that bores you, and with people who don’t inspire you, you’re likely to be feeling a distinct lack of purpose and very little fulfilment.

I offer career counselling and career assessments and I help people make exciting career choices. I assist teenagers and working adults to understand themselves better in order to be clear about their values, their vision, their talents and the things they are passionate about.

I help people to identify jobs and careers that will bring out the best in them, enabling them to be authentic, challenged, motivated, goal-driven and inspired. I offer psychometric testing along with counselling to get the optimal outcome.

I also assist people with goal-setting and life coaching, for career and individual development – at work, in sport, fitness, health, studies and personal growth.

Get In Touch

RATES

I charge R1200.00 per one-hour session, and I’m available between 09:00 and 17:00 on Tuesdays, Wednesdays and Thursdays.

I run a cash practice – debit/credit cards welcomed.

Make an online booking

Click here

Call

072 203 3203

Address

Centre for Holistic Health, 56 Kingfisher Drive, Fourways, 2086