There is no doubt that we live in a highly competitive world. Whilst competition may be argued to be a necessary and inevitable part of life, it is the level of competition in society and its associated pressures that drive so many illnesses that health professionals are dealing with on a daily basis. The antidote to competition and its negative impact must surely be a healthier form of human encounter and interaction, namely collaboration. As a counselling psychologist in private practice, I believe that health care professionals have an opportunity and obligation to engage with our clients in predominantly collaborative ways as a frontline offensive to the unfortunate effects of competition.
Human beings are robust creatures, with well-developed defense mechanisms designed to not only keep us alive, but to maximize our potential in order to thrive. However, when the environment we live in becomes essentially toxic, our ability to function optimally slowly gets undermined. Whilst medical science has done wonders in advancing the quality and quantity of our lives, the number of pollutants and free radicals that confront us every day is on this increase. Our entire natural ecosystem of which we are but a part, finds itself under increasing environmental pressure as the pace of life increases exponentially.
Many illnesses, particularly diseases of the mind, have their origins in fear-based experiences characterized by a threat to personal safety. These often originate in childhood, be it as a result of heavy-handed discipline, absent parents, divorce and the breakdown of a family system, or the effects of poverty and unemployment, to name a few. Whatever the cause, the effect is generally an experience of broken trust and the development of various coping strategies and beliefs that our world is a dangerous and threatening place. We become victims and survivors of our primary wounds, which in turn inform our thinking, feeling and behavioral patterns, setting us up for self-fulfilling prophecies of doom, gloom and destruction. Unfortunately, history has a remarkable way of repeating itself as we get stuck in the very same dysfunctional intrapsychic and interpersonal dynamics later in life, passing them on to the next generation. Hence, the vital role and responsibility health professionals have for bringing healing and wholeness to peoples’ lives. It is to us that a beleaguered populace turn for help in hard times, and it is to us that the privilege is given to change the dance of human history from brutal competition to enlightened collaboration. We carry the possibility of hope and breakthrough, when all other avenues have been exhausted.
What does it mean to be in a collaborative relationship? There are three key requirements for collaboration to take place, which make up the acronym SEE. The first is SAFETY, which means that our clients experience us in ways that make them feel fundamentally safe. Carl Rogers, one of the great psychologists of the 20th century who founded ‘Client-Centered’ Therapy, spoke about the concept of unconditional positive regard for the client. Remembering it takes courage to be vulnerable and admit to having a problem, we need to honor our client’s efforts and responsibility, by extending unconditional positive regard. This means having utmost consideration and respect for our clients, and personally confronting any preconceived judgements or prejudices we may be carrying..
The second requirement is EQUALITY. The power balance is largely weighted against the client in favor of the so called ‘expert’ health professional. I believe there are two experts in the room, each with a profound ability to understand their own human condition. What we are looking for is not another counter-productive power imbalance which characterizes so much of our competitive, paternalistic world, namely a parent-child relationship, but rather an adult-adult partnership. This kind of relationship encourages autonomy and responsibility, based on mutual consideration and respect. The communication principle of “Seek first to understand, then to be understood” is of great value here (Steven Covey, Seven Habits of Highly Effective People).
The final requirement is EMPOWERMENT. We need to empower our clients to take back control of their lives. This may involve educating them with the best explanation we can into their condition, sharing our theoretical understandings, giving them the opportunity to ask questions, and referring them to further sources of information. Knowledge is power, and it is our responsibility to share the knowledge we have gained with our clients, in order to assist them in making the best choices regarding their health.
To conclude, we are incredibly privileged to be health care professionals who get to ‘SEE’ people in our daily practice. In this cruel, crazy, competitive world, we can be part of the solution and not the problem, every day. But with this privilege comes an even greater responsibility that every person we ‘SEE’ has an ‘Aha’ moment, characterized by our joint humanity and willingness to extend ourselves for the good of another. ‘Ubuntu’ means “I am because you are”. Nowhere in society can and should Ubuntu be practiced more than in the way we support people who are sick, lost, lonely, hurting and hungry.