There is no doubt that we have all been colonized. By this I mean that we have all been subjected to cultural norms and values that we had very little to do with choosing. We are each born into a time and place in history, which we adapt to and adopt accordingly. Whilst our natures may be at odds with the prevailing culture, be it our family, religion, education or wider community, the pressure to conform inevitably requires a certain capitulation of who we really are. In the same way, every indigenous tribe that was colonized did not do so willingly but due to an overwhelming onslaught that fundamentally changed the way those communities functioned.
As a result, we have all lost a sense of who we are – a world-wide human identity crisis. This may explain the last decade of political polarization, as if we were being split down the middle. We are being forced to choose a side that has very little to do with who we really are, but our own survival seems to depend upon it. Then we get busy trying to prove that the path we are on is the correct one, counting anyone with alternative views the enemy. Meanwhile, the real issues that need our combined efforts, like climate change and protection of the environment, remain unaddressed. We are a bit like a couple of dogs scrapping at the gate whilst the intruder helps him or herself.
To decolonize ourselves is to realign our own personal energy flow, from a patriarchal, action oriented ‘doing in order to have (more)’, to accommodate a matriarchal, receptive oriented ‘being in order to do (more)’. This requires us to balance culture (masculine and outside of us) with nature (feminine and inside of us). Because culture has so taken us all over, it now operates from the inside out. It was never meant to dominate, but be balanced with our human natures, which can and should operate from the inside out when nurtured. Unfortunately, patriarchy came about as an aggressive reaction to matriarchy over 4000 years ago, which was the predominant way of human coexistence, so the pendulum swung from one side to the other.
Nowhere in human history has it been more critical to find the correct balance between our masculine and feminine energies than it is now. The reintegration of the human psyche, at a body, heart, mind and soul level requires each one of us to start nurturing our own natures. We need to learn to be again, for it is from being fully human, that our doing will be instinctive, creative and wise. Our resulting actions will be collaborative and constructive instead of competitive and destructive. It was never meant to be either masculine or feminine, but both masculine and feminine. When we each take responsibility for our own decolonization and reintegration therapy, I am confident that our individual realignment will be the grassroot catalyst for healing humanity and preserving our species. If you would like to find a better balance in your own life, please contact me, psychologist in Fourways.