My Blog
Marriage – a necessary pain in the neck
I once came up with a title for a book I never wrote, ‘If you want a walk in the park, get a dog. If you want to scale Everest, get married!’ To get it right and come out on top is probably one of the hardest things on earth. So why do so many young and not so young...
Infidelity – an understandable and unfortunate short-cut
Due to social conditioning, human beings find themselves living in monogamous, long-term relationships which may start to feel more like a cage than a carriage, especially marriages. The challenge is to keep growing as individuals so that the relationship remains...
Freedom is a daily discipline
This world tends to suck us in, chew us up and spit us out. No wonder we are reeling at the end of the day and look like dried fruit at the end of our lives. We are literally consumed by the pace and pressure of daily living in a culture that seems to glorify an ‘earn...
Emancipate yourself from mental slavery
I don’t suppose you have ever thought of yourself as a prisoner, but I am sorry to inform you that you most likely are – a prisoner of your own mind. Since the day you were born, you have spent your life trying to make sense of the world and your place in it, even...
Filling your own cup is where the fun begins!
Having worked with couples for fifteen years, and having faced many challenges in my own marriage, I have come to realize that you cannot give from an empty cup. You also cannot expect anyone else, including your partner, to fill your cup, so it boils down to one...
Decolonization and Reintegration Therapy
There is no doubt that we have all been colonized. By this I mean that we have all been subjected to cultural norms and values that we had very little to do with choosing. We are each born into a time and place in history, which we adapt to and adopt accordingly....
Bermuda Triangle or Drama Triangle?
The Bermuda Triangle in the Atlantic Ocean is still something of an unsolved mystery with ships and aircraft in the area disappearing without a trace. There is another famous and equally enigmatic triangle that makes people disappear without a trace, the drama...
If you change your mind…
What if you were to change your mind completely? Does this scare or excite you? Aren’t you tired of living in the same room, in the same house, in the same street, in the same town, in the same country, doing the same work, with the same people? No wonder you are...
Fuck, fuck, fuck! I feel so fucked up!
To be human is to feel. If we didn’t feel, we wouldn’t be human. So, what are we to do with our feelings? The most important thing we can learn to do is identify what we are feeling, acknowledge what we are feeling, and most importantly, express what we are feeling....
Mind your own business – an ecological imperative
With climate change a reality, the question remains whether we can change course to avoid the impending catastrophe. My view as a counselling psychologist, but more importantly as a fellow human being, is that our only hope is to change our minds. We do this by...
Nurturing your nature against the force of culture
‘Environmental press’ is a term given for the pressure that is exerted upon any creature within its habitat. A lion must deal with the prevailing conditions, be it climate, vegetation, availability of food, water and a suitable mating partner, not to mention potential...
True or False Self?
Are you living from your true self or false self? This is an important question as your peace, joy and freedom depends on the answer. Sadly, most of us are living from our false selves, and only start to realize this when we enter a crisis. But fortunately, there is a...